Sick..

Pff almost sick for a week! To long! Well I kinda could do some stuff at home.. But every time I wake up early I have a long breakfast, start with watching some stuff on my laptop and then it seems to be half past 12 already, I put some clothes on and look around in my room. A mess.. Not just a little, a lot of mess! hahaha I see my camera lying in the corner of my room and realize I have to make one more low key picture, first do that. Didn't really worked out. I made a mess of my room more than it already was and realize now I really have to clean it. Otherwise I can't even get in to bed at night. Well just got downstairs, did the dishes and now Im sitting on the couch. Just made a drawing. And think I'll make some more! hihi.

oohh Happy day!

I woke up, the subway as delayed, so I walked to the next station.. But got a bit late in drawing class. We had a model, naked. And she posed. My drawings where quite good and I was proud of myself. But then the teacher suddenly stood by me and said.. you know Rembrandt drew just like you are doing now? I was very proud hahaha. And then we had the other class and we had to search for high and low key pictures.. And he stood behind me. He said ok these are nice ones, I told him.. yeah I made these a while ago.. He suddenly was quiet and said.. " You made them?! So you can make this sort of work?! Why don't you show me more?!' hahaha It made me more happy than I was..
Then I got home trained my kids ate something home and went back to the place because I had training, my first one since a while.. Loved it! The coach is nice, kinda funny too, the other team mates are nice. And I can run around and just sweat again! I missed it I really did! hahaha. And Sunday we have a game again.. And the coach told me I had to be the pointer guard.. the one that dribbles the most and the one who has to score the most. Awesome right?! hahahaa Basketballll! Here I am again! Love it!

Schooltime.

No playtime, just school. I could have gone to Maria mena this evening but my stupid nose is still dripping. So if I would go I would be more sick than I am now.. Ah well. Maybe it's better this way, I will be at every class and won't skip some. And I will be in bed earlier so I can rest a bit more. And then tuesday I'll visit the doctor again. Hopefully it's nothing serious. But on the other hand I just want to know what it is that's making me this shaky.
By the way my room looks like there have been a robbery.. Stuff everywhere, clothes, food, scarfs, camera's.. hahaha Still have to clean it. Think I'll do that tomorrow. I will! By the way on the image there's the cage of Goldie but he recently died. So no more Goldie..

Crazy right?

Today when I took the subway home it was already full of people, so I had to push myself in there. Secretly I laugh when I am pushed against the doors or other people in the subway. Everybody looks so grumpy, just as if they hate everyone who touches them when the subway stops and goes again. Some stumble and fall over the little feet of others. It makes me laugh. What must they think of me, standing there. Laughing and looking all happy.. Even when somebody farted and a huge smell has filled the stuffed subway. They must have thought I was the guilty one.. hahahaha. Ah well, they will forget it when they enter there warm homes. Then the smell of the ' lost' fart is gone and they only think of getting there feet up or starting with there dinner. For me the dinner is almost ready, lovely spaghetti a la elena. I love it! hihi

Hoping for a new start.

Seeing myself again, doing what I want to do... That's what's in my mind these days. Am I really doing what I like to do? Am I really who I want to be? Questions, questions. But I do know I like to make photo's and this girl Jeanique Kats knows it too. I've read her blog and have seen her pictures. She started as an amateur but is a real photographer now. Her 365 days of pictures are good, I will start mine when I turn 19. I think it's good for me to start a sort of project, so I push myself to make a picture every day. Today i woke up kinda early and had some plans, but you know me and plans. Never gonna happen.. I cleaned my room, but now it's more a mess than it was. But! I worked on my Facebook page and photoshopped some pictures. At first I never thought I would photoshop, most of the time it's overdone. But I see that some pictures just need that extra touch. And of course it's always good to know how it works.
So, here I am, sitting behind my laptop, looking over it and seeing all the mess I made. It will clean itself right? NO it won't...
I know, but I have to go train my kids now! Oh and saturday I'll finally have a groups picture of the team and myself! I'll put it on my blog!

Twins twins twins..

Friday was our talking-group night, we planned to go out but we decided to stay at Joelle's home. It was very nice to see each other again! Again we laughed, ate and drank.. Inge and I bought a bottle of Cosmopolitan, but I can tell you.. Don't buy it! It's the same as Coebergh but than a bit more expensive. Then saturday I had to coach my team again, we lost. But it was a good game. I was proud of my team haha. When I got home I just got a few minutes to relax before I opened the frozen food box.. My parents forgot to get it out on time, so the food was to frozen to eat. I grabbed the fries and filled my belly. And after that I was on my way to "het lezersfeest' in the library of Rotterdam. Here where writers, singers and songwriters and some comedians. It was very nice to be here! My mom and I enjoyed it a lot and also bought some books.
Sunday I had to get up early again, had to work behind the bar. It wasn't to bad the people where nice this time haha. Then I came home and called the twin that was on my planning to photograph, she did not respond so I called again. Then I decided to visit the other twins, but I suddenly saw where they lived.. Not really near by. So I cancelled that one. My dad did not wanted to drive me and by train it wasn't possible.. Then I went to Manuel and here are the results. I think the teacher will see they are not all twins. But well I just made the wrong decision to do twins, hard to find, hard to plan..

because I had a bad day.

Why does this happen to me? Ok let's start with the serious stuff. A half year ago I started to get shaking hands while playing basketball, I thought it was because of the high adrenaline level, but mom told me to see the doctor. Just to be sure. He told me it would just go away itself and that I would not have it longer than some months. But it didn't and it got worse. I even got it when I get up out of bed, (so no adrenaline) when I ride my bike, before dinner, after dinner, in bed. It's just random, so it seems. So I called the doctor and went today. She asked me some things and listened to my heart rhythm. She said or I had something with my heart or it is something with my thyroid. Both aren't really nice things.. She told me to give some blood for research. Because giving the medication for my heart could be wrong, when it's not that condition. This was also the first time I gave some blood, and I was on my own so I was a bit scared. Luckily there was a men and he was very calm while they took his blood. It made me calm too. And it actually wasn't that scary. Just felt a bit weird. The plaster hurt me more haha. When I took it off i also took a lot of arm hairs with it haha.
Then bad thing two. I'm not very happy at school, you guys know that. Some issues. But today the teachers where coming together and they have put a little text on my profile, and I've read it. It's not really good..
They think I'm not really a student, that I'm not interested in the lessons and that I'm not really interested in Photography..
Well I agree with them on some things but I am interested in Photography and I do pay attention. But I'm just not myself, my creativity is gone. I really need to have it back. Otherwise I really need to find another school. Ah well..
Hope it will all work out..
Here are some twin pictures..